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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold . . .
    people with traffic tickets would plead guilty and beg for the electric chair!

  2. It was so cold . . .
    the snowflakes froze in the air. Birds hopped from one snowflake to another to get into the trees.

  3. It was so cold . . .
    terrorists started to stockpile weapons-grade hot chocolate!

  4. It was so cold . . .
    the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!

  5. It was so cold...
    beauty contestants had to draw pictures of themselves for the swimsuit competition! It was the first time talent was an asset in that event!

  6. It was so cold . . .
    my mail broke when I tried to pry open the envelope!

  7. It was so cold . . .
    UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii!

  8. It was so cold . . .
    I actually enjoyed it when someone spilled scalding hot coffee on my lap!

  9. It was so cold . . .
    Throps and Squallhoots were constantly hugging!

  10. It was so cold . . .
    Richard Simmons started wearing pants!

  11. It was so cold . . .
    the fake Rolex sellers were selling fake heaters!

    Links to COLD PLACES!

  12. It was so cold...
    Mr. Smith's toupee turned white for the winter!

  13. It was so cold...
    Mr. Bumstead's toupee took off and migrated south!

  14. It was so cold . . .
    my dental fillings became dislodged due to the constant shivering!

  15. It was so cold . . .
    people stopped complaining about the radioactive steam coming out of manholes!

  16. It was so cold . . .
    the muggers were phoning in sick!

  17. It was so cold . . .
    a streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring.

  18. It was so cold . . .
    when I got sick - Mom had to give me a block of chicken soup!

  19. It was so cold . . .
    the Polar Bears were buying fur coats!

  20. It was so cold . . .
    the snowman knocked on the door and asked to sleep on the couch!

  21. It was so cold . . .
    people with the sniffles had to suck on NyQuil popsicles!

  22. It was so cold . . .
    we didn't clean the house - we just defrosted it!

  23. It was so cold . . .
    you could pick up used vans cheap down at "Ice Cream Vendor Surplus".

  24. It was so cold . . .
    my Dad was wearing golfing gloves on both hands!

  25. It was so cold . . .
    Pamela Anderson was downgraded from "hot" to "tepid".

It Was So Cold...
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