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Chilly Weather Reports
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It was so cold...
Smokey the Bear grabbed a box of matches and ran shivering into the woods.
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It was so cold...
my water bed turned into a bergy bit.
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It was so cold...
pedestrians were buying roasted chestnuts - to stuff in their pants!
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It was so cold...
mob corpses were stacking up on New York's East River.
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It was so cold...
fire hydrants were begging the dogs to pee on them.
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It was so cold...
couples were "spooning" in places where they shouldn't have been spooning.
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It was so cold...
pyromaniacs became desirable members of the community.
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It was so cold...
the fire department in New York's Times Square was called out to rescue a stripper frozen to a pole.
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It was so cold...
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall - and survived. (That's an "it was so cold YOLK!" Ha! Ha!)
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It was so cold...
I "bonded" with my heater.
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It was so cold...
P. Diddy changed his name to Frozen P.
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It was so cold...
hot dogs were served in down-filled buns.
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It was so cold...
people were flicking their Bics - in their pockets.
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It was so cold...
the squirrels were storing Sterno.
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It was so cold...
when I was bringing home treats from the bakery, I froze my buns.
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It was so cold...
instead of the "finger" - people rudely gave you the "mitt".
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It was so cold...
we were shivering more than a mobster in the tax office.
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It was so cold...
Mom's housekeeping chores changed from "dusting" to "snowing". She replaced her "Pledge" with a "sledge".
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It was so cold...
our goldfish gurgled up a request for an underwater volcano.
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It was so cold...
business executives were ruthlessly competing for warmer offices.
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It was so cold...
I thought I had vitiligo, but it was only frostbitten patches of skin.
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It was so cold...
the bedding manufacturers were getting requests for flammable mattresses - so the smokers could keep warm.
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It was so cold...
our dog moved his blanket from the dog house into the barbeque.
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It was so cold...
healthy people were kissing flu victims - hoping for a fever.
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It was so cold...
commuters longed for the crowds of a Tokyo subway.
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