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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    the department store had to pay sales staff extra just to warm up to the customers.

  2. It was so cold...
    my sister's scalp was crying out for more hair extentions.

  3. It was so cold...
    a wayward bird hit a wall - and shattered.

  4. It was so cold...
    I saw a chicken with a capon.

  5. It was so cold...
    everytime I took my mittens off - I had one less finger!

  6. It was so cold...
    tin toilet seats were outlawed.

  7. It was so cold...
    Bill Clinton thought he was standing next to Hillary.

  8. It was so cold...
    my toes were... Oops! What happened to my toes?

  9. It was so cold...
    it seemed that opposing politicians had begun a new era of cooperation, but they were only hugging one another for the warmth.

  10. It was so cold...
    the Four Seasons Hotel changed its name to just "Winter". Room service staff didn't clean the rooms, they just shovelled them out between guests.

  11. It was so cold...
    Girl Guides were selling trays of chocolate flavored ice cubes.

  12. It was so cold...
    the global warming opponents were completely convinced they had won the debate. Now they're going on about "global freezing".

    Links to COLD PLACES!

  13. It was so cold...
    changing diapers involved the use of hammers, chisels, wallpaper steamers and winter weight baby oil.

  14. It was so cold...
    a certain unpopular political leader was burning effigies of himself.

  15. It was so cold...
    I actually enjoyed political speeches. That's how desperate I was for some hot air.

  16. It was so cold...
    if you wet the bed, you had to jump out quickly. Otherwise you'd get frozen in and be forced to hibernate until spring.

  17. It was so cold...
    There was a brass monkey alert on the weather forecast.

  18. It was so cold...
    the tires on our car froze with a flat side while they had been sitting. As we "clompted" down the road, we pretended we were the Flintstones. Yabba dabba doo!

  19. It was so cold...
    when houses caught on fire, the flames and smoke froze. The Fire Department had to wait until Spring to put them out. When the weather finally warmed up, we had a 962 alarm fire!

  20. It was so cold...
    but it came with a built in coping mechanism and we took it in stride. Hey, NO SWEAT!

  21. It was so cold...
    unusual events were being attributed to the theory that Hell was, in fact, freeing over.

  22. It was so cold...
    Pine trees were begging to be cut down and taken inside to be decorated - and it was only November!

  23. It was so cold...
    all the needles fell off the Christmas tree due to constant shivering.

  24. It was so cold . . .
    all the ornaments on the Christmas tree huddled around the top of the tree, basking in the warmth of the star.

  25. It was so cold...
    we didn't need tinsel on the Christmas tree - the icicles formed naturally.

It Was So Cold...
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